Aerial Assault
by RiddleKitty
Summary: [Spider-Man 1967] The Vulture perpetrates an aerial crime wave. It's up to Spider-Man to cage the bird themed burglar and make the skies safe once again.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing from the show.

**Info:** Wallopin' Websnappers, I'm going retro! And there _won't_ be any Spider-Memes in this.

* * *

_Wherever there's a hang up, you'll find the Spider-Man!_

Cool night air blew over the deck of the Fortune-7, posh yacht of the renown diamond dealer, Francis Fortune. While his party guests sipped champagne and chatted among themselves, Fortune slipped away to close a quick deal with an important client. In his hands was a sleek black carrying case filled with fifty thousand dollars worth of sparkling blue diamonds.

"Beautiful, aren't they, Mr. Yan?"

"Truly. Worth every cent."

Mr. Yan pulled a handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped his plump face. Despite the cool air, sweat covered his face and neck.

"What's the matter, Mr. Yan? You look a bit perturbed," said Mr. Fortune.

"I know it's strange, but I can't shake the feeling we're being watched." Mr. Yan looked around. The only thing for miles were rippling waves, shimmering in the faint moonlight. "Such an eerie feeling."

Mr. Fortune simply laughed. "Nonsense, my friend. Why, there's no safer place than out here aboard my yacht. I have the best security for miles around and everyone was properly screened before they boarded." He closed the case and locked it after one final inspection. "I can assure you, there's no thieves casing _this_ particular deal."

"I suppose you're right. It's silly of me, isn't it? Such a notion." Mr. Yan allowed himself to laugh. He reached for the offered case.

A strange fluttering sounded above them. The men flinched at a sudden large shadow looming overhead. In mid-pass, something plucked the case from Mr. Fortune's hand, leaving him to gasp and stare, wide-eyed, along with Mr. Yan.

"It's not as far-fetched as you may think!" shouted the harsh voice of the notorious Vulture. He let out a sharp laugh, flapping his way higher above the stunned men, clutched in his left hand the case of diamonds. He waved the stolen case tauntingly. "For you see, a man with wings can go _anywhere!_"

"Great heavens! It's some kind of horrible bird-man," Mr. Yan cried, covering his head with his hands. "Don't let it get me!"

Mr. Fortune, having lived in New York his whole life and seen many things, including many a costumed super criminal in his later years, only scowled. "It's the Vulture! And he's not after you, Yan. He's taken the diamonds!" Mr. Fortune slapped a hand to his forehead. "Only the Vulture could have perpetrated such a daring crime out here in the middle of the water! And yet I didn't even suspect for a moment that _he'd _have swooped in!"

"How unfortunate for you, Mr. Fortune! And now these diamonds are mine," the Vulture declared, wearing his customary sinister grin. With that, he soared into the sky and vanished into the night.

The yacht became little more than a dot below as the Vulture zoomed higher on warmer air currents, laughing to himself all the way.

"Stealing from a boat miles out in the lake is a cinch when you've got wings! No one can stop me! Ha hahahaha!"

* * *

**Aerial Assault**

"What is this bunk!" The voice of J. Jonah Jameson filled the room as he stormed about, waving Peter Parker's latest photos between two fingers. "I don't want pictures of this overgrown turkey! I want pictures of the criminal who's behind all these thefts... that wall-crawling menace, Spider-Man!"

"But Mr. Jameson," said Peter, "how can you say that? This particular rash of crimes has been going on over the last week. Luxury ships, private planes, even several transport helicopters have been attacked and burgled by the same _flying _criminal. That would almost certainly be the Vulture-Man."

"I can say whatever I want, Parker, and don't you forget it! And I say that big bird is just a feathered flunky for the _real _criminal here, Spider-Man!" He tossed the pictures of the large green bird-shaped object onto his desk. "If you can get me some pictures of that web-headed weasel, then we'll talk. Right now, you're only wasting my valuable time!"

Peter sighed as he was shoved out of Jameson's office. _It might be a waste of time for dear old Mr. Jameson here_, he thought, b_ut not for Spider-Man._

One costume change later, Spider-Man leapt from a rooftop and swung his way through the city toward the hovering Excelsior. The large dirigible happened to be the scene of a small yet extravagant gathering of well-to-do members of the Elite Gems Association. One of the rare items being showcased gave Spider-Man a hunch that the Vulture's attention would be drawn to it.

He swung himself onto the side of a nearby building and stuck fast to the wall. Reaching into his belt, he withdrew a reference photo of an ornate silver ring with a bright green jadeite stone set into it. The ring had a lovely silver band shaped to look like a Cormorant with outstretched wings.

"Something tells me this fancy little number will tempt ol' Vulchy out of hiding. All I need to do is nab him when he shows up. Then this aerial crime spree of his will be over."

* * *

Soaring high among the skyscrapers came the Vulture. Silently he flew, gliding toward the golden Excelsior. He remained alongside the aircraft just above the occupied cabin, full of its wealthy and oblivious EGA members.

Inside, the ring was revealed from beneath a dark purple cloth to an awed crowd of nine. It sat within an enclosed glass case on a wooden pedestal, resting on a pillow of the finest purple silk. The jadeite seemed to glow beneath the light, an almost impossible shade of rich, verdant green.

"Such a fabulous piece of craftsmanship," remarked the Vulture, now hovering right outside the window in preparation for attack. "It will look far lovelier in _my_ collection!"

He swooped toward the window and kicked it in, after which he entered and revealed himself to the horrified crowd.

"What the devil?" The head of the EGA—also owner of the prized jadeite ring—stepped away from the menacing winged figure as his guests cowered in the furthest corner. "What is the meaning of this? How did you get up here?!"

Vulture spread his wings wide and barked a laugh. "How do you think? I _flew_!" Without wasting further words, he slashed his wing at the case and shattered it. Before the pedestal toppled, he had snatched the ring off the pillow. "And now I'm going to fly off with this ring while you affluent fools stand with mouths agape!"

Just as quickly as he'd appeared, Vulture dove out the window and soared away.

"S-somebody, stop him!"

"How in the world would we do that? None of us can fly!"

"My ring!" cried the head of the EGA, hands clutched to his head. He ran toward the broken window and looked out.

The shaken guests crowded at the windows, searching the skies for a trace of the daring bird-man.

Already a good distance away, Vulture revelled in his victory with maniacal laughter and a brief loop-the-loop. "The skies are mine to terrorize, and there's not a soul alive who can stop me!"

Below him by several dozen feet, clinging to the building, Spider-Man had a much different opinion.

"I wouldn't count on that, my fine feathered foe."

Spider-Man shot a web line that caught the Vulture's leg as he passed. He swung himself up using the startled Vulture's momentum and landed on the costumed criminal's back.

"Aren't you ever going to learn not to take things that don't belong to you?" he crowed at the back of the Vulture's helmeted head.

"Spider-Man!" Snarling, Vulture rolled in an attempt to shake off his unwanted rider but Spider-Man stuck fast to him. "Get off me, you web-faced fool!"

"But I just got here! And we never spend enough quality time together as it is," said Spider-Man.

He gave Vulture's helmet a quick karate chop, light enough not to knock him completely senseless but stun him. Vulture yelped and dropped several feet, effectively disoriented.

"Time to make an emergency landing." Spider-Man grabbed the Vulture's shoulders tightly and steered him toward the closest rooftop.

Vulture shook off his daze and began to resist, struggling to regain control while balancing his backseat driver. He veered suddenly toward a building. "See if you like_ this _landing!"

"Uh oh," Spider-Man said, realizing quickly what Vulture planned to do even before his spider-sense began tingling in alert. _He's going to try to wipe me off!_

But Spider-Man hadn't planned on the Vulture's remarkable swiftness. Before he could leap away, Vulture carried out his plan, smashing his enemy against the wall hard enough to crack a few bricks. Dazed, Spider-man let loose and began sliding down the wall a few dozen feet before catching himself. He slowed to a stop in time to see the Vulture shoot off into the sky again, more intent on escape that combat—for now.

"Well, that could have gone better," Spider-Man said. He opened his palm and revealed a small electronic receiver. The red light flashed in rapid succession. "Good thing I was able to stick a spider-tracer on Vulture before he flew off. I'll track him back to his nest and pluck his feathers."

* * *

The bell tower of an aging, abandoned cathedral stood solemnly in the cool air of night, the structure surrounded and somewhat secluded by an overgrowth of trees and shrubbery. The Vulture flew down through the broken roof and landed, wearing a satisfied grin as he admired his latest possession. The jadeite caught the waning moonlight and sparkled between his fingers.

"Ah, another successful heist. And not even that annoying web-head could stop me this time!"

He placed the ring into his collection of stolen jewels. The pile had become quite large over the course of the week, all thanks to his continuous aerial assaults. Surely, no one could stop a man with wings.

Having had enough thrilling thievery for one day, Vulture headed for his roost to relax. The sound of scuffling against the outside wall stopped him in his tracks. Surely, it couldn't be—

"Spider-Man!" Vulture shouted as the all too familiar mask popped into view.

"Nice place you got here! Could use a bit of redecorating though."

Spider-Man leapt over the ledge and shot out a web line. It snagged a heavy wooden chair. Spider-Man tugged, sending it at Vulture's back. It smashed against him and broke, causing him to stumble.

Vulture shook off his daze, eyes lit with blazing anger. "You meddling insect! How could you have possibly found my hideout?"

**"**With this," said Spider-Man, displaying his tracker. "You should have preened your feathers earlier, Vulchy. You might have found my little spider-tracer and known I was coming."

Scowling, Vulture examined his feathers and found a small black spider-shaped device snugly attached to one of them. He threw it to the floor. "Curse you!"

"Gesundheit!"

Spider-Man shot a web net. It missed the Vulture, who fluttered out of the way. A fierce strike from his wing slammed Spider-Man into the nearby wall. Spider-Man retaliated with another quick shot from his web shooters.

"Aaah!"

Vulture landed, stumbling about, a thick layer of webbing coating his face. He struck blindly with his left wing, which just so happened to meet Spider-Man as he rushed in to deliver a punch. Upon feeling Spider-Man come in contact with his wing, he mercilessly battered him with both until, disoriented, Spider-Man fell. With Spider-Man floored temporarily, Vulture struggled with the webbing and peeled it off.

Spider-Man rolled away as the Vulture's foot met the floor where his head had been seconds prior. "Give it up, Vulture! You can knock me down all you want but I always get back up." He feigned a lunge, causing Vulture to take a step back, wings spread out defensively. A good sign—the bird was losing his nerve. "Besides, I've got you cornered!" Spider-Man took another aggressive step. " You're going back to your cage, where you belong."

"Never!" Vulture's beady green eyes darted back and forth, searching for an escape path. Flying away was no easy task when faced with the Spider-Man. Vulture grabbed a small antique table and hurled it at his colorful enemy, payback for the chair that first hit him.

When Spider-Man dodged out the way, putting some space between them, Vulture took to the air. He swooped to grab the ring from its spot, heading then for the first skyward path he laid eyes on.

"And just when I'd gotten everything the way I liked it," Vulture remarked. He flew up to the ancient, rusted bell and used his wing to slice the rope binding it to its rotted wooden beam.

Down the heavy bell plummeted, straight toward Spider-Man.

"This is one bell that isn't tolling for me!"

Spider-Man back flipped into the air and landed on the wall behind him as the bell smashed through the floor, crumbling the weaker structures around it. When the dust had settled, a gaping hole had appeared in the floor of the bell tower.

"You're not getting away, bird-brain," said Spider-Man, jumping up along the wall and out of the tower.

He caught the ominous green speck in the distance before it got too far away and began web slinging his way after it. Closer and closer he got, slinging his webs with speed and precision, until the green speck had become the recognizable form of the Vulture. He stayed off to one side in hopes that the belligerent buzzard wouldn't sight him too easily.

* * *

Vulture began to slow his flight speed, looking back over his shoulder to see if he had been followed.

"Surely I've lost him by now," he said. He turned and hovered, scanning the sides of buildings for traces of the annoying arachnid.

"Surprise!" came a shout from below.

Growling in frustration, Vulture looked down, only to be hit in the face once again by the sticky webs. He let out a cry of anger and tore at them. As he fumbled about, the ring fell from his grasp.

Spider-Man shot out a web line and snagged it before it could be lost in the darkened waters below. Above him, the Vulture had ripped away the webs. He eyed Spider-Man with unbridled hostility.

"First you force me to abandon my new nest, now you steal away my precious prize! You infuriating web-head!"

Vulture shot toward Spider-Man like an arrow. If he'd had talons, he would have been quite eager to sink them into Spider-Man's body. Instead, he tried to deliver a simple kick to Spider-Man's head.

"A little grouchy tonight, aren't you? Sorry to keep you up past your bedtime," Spider-Man said, dodging the attack. He avoided another swoop from the enraged Vulture, swinging himself out on a new web line. Steadily he lead Vulture down toward the water with his taunts and dodges.

"Quit scurrying, you spiteful spider!"

"Aaaaw, go soak your head!"

Enacting his trap, Spider-Man swiftly uppercut the Vulture, knocking him out of the sky and into the water.

Spider-Man burst into victorious laughter as the Vulture splashed around with helpless fury. The water-logged bird dragged himself up and onto the nearby dock, sputtering, his wings soaked and useless for the time being. He hovered, attempting to flap them dry so he could steer properly, cursing Spider-Man up and down with wordless rage.

"Well, it's been fun but I'd better stop toying around," Spider-Man said. "Now to ground you for good, Vulture!"

Spider-Man socked the Vulture, knocking him out of the air once again. A flurry of web nets wrapped him up in a nice little package.

"I'll get you for this, Spider-Man!" he said, straining against his cocoon of webbing. "Just you wait!"

"That'll be the day, Vulture." Spider-Man chuckled, removing a tiny pen and a piece of note paper from his utility belt.

* * *

"So, it really was the Vulture-Man behind all those aerial crimes," Miss Brant said as she and Peter looked over the Bugle's latest headlines.

Spider-Man had captured the Vulture and recovered every stolen item. The photo Peter had snapped of the scene showed the note Spider-Man had attached to his sulking captive: _Lost bird. Please return to a cozy cage at Ryker's Island_. _Signed, your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man._

"Who would have thought?" Peter remarked, smirking.

"The head of the Elite Gems Association gives special mention to Spider-Man for recovering his prized jadeite gemstone ring," Betty continued. "As well as Mr. Francis Fortune and Mr. Edward Yan for the safe return of fifty thousand dollars in rare blue diamonds."

"Bah!" Jameson muttered, pacing the floor of his office. "One day, somebody'll catch that Spider-menace in action. Hopefully it'll be me!"


End file.
